Being still is hard to do.

I have had some not so good days lately.  Which is ok.  I need to grieve.  I tend to try to be strong for everyone else but I know I am not any good for anyone else if I don't take care of myself.  My way of coping is to plan or try to find another solution.  But I feel strongly the Lord asking us to wait.  I don't know what He has in store for us.  I do know we are going to continue to fundraise for an adoption.  I am just not clear if it will be a domestic or international.

We both tend to want something "new" when we have had a failure with either getting pregnant or an adoption not working out.  When my sister in law was pregnant with my "honey-b", Matt convinced me we needed a more macho dog!! So..... we got Kadie! If that isn't an opposite I don't know what is! She is definitely prissy not macho! Haha!  So she became our new baby.  We have 3 furbabies!  Our counselor said one day, "You know the dogs represent your desire for children?".  LOL! Yep!  They are pretty rotten!  After each failure we seem to rush to get something new to help us deal with the loss.  I know its just a coping thing and its not going to really make me feel better long term.  Its a very temporary fix.

So.......we cannot afford more dogs! ( I would be a crazy woman to try!)  Instead Matt and I did a little early Christmas shopping.  In fact I think I am going to go ahead and wrap them up this week!  I think this time we chose a much healthier outlet because I found some incredible deals!! 

Waiting is hard.  I like to plan.  I like to have a goal to work towards.  But I hear Jesus calling me to come and sit at His feet.  I know He has some wonderful, comforting and life-changing things to show me.  I just have to be still.  Again, I want to express how grateful we are for all your prayers and support.  We can really feel it.  So blessed to have each and everyone of you as apart of our lives and this journey we are on!