Responsibility doesn't belong to me

I remember making my bed as a 4 year old.  I even vaguely remember the orange colored comforter ( what were my parents thinking?! ; )   I have always been responsible.  My sister was born when I was 4 then my brother was born 2 years later.  I was a little mommy trying to boss them and take care of them.  To this day I still carry some sense of responsibility for them.  I helped take care of my grandmothers when they were sick.  From an early age I have taken responsibility and done it well.

I struggled today.  I feel responsible.  Responsible that people were let down because this adoption didn't go through.  Responsible that they changed their minds.  The words a dear friend shared with me in a difficult time ring in my ears. "You are not responsible for their actions."  It was when I realized that I wasn't responsible that God was able to move for me in a very difficult time and I was able to release it to the Lord to move in the situation.

Today, I realized that I feel responsible for God's action or inactivity.  I see where I am carrying the burden that God didn't come through and I am responsible for it.  Matt and I were talking about all this and it hit me: "I am not responsible for how God works.  I am not responsible for how He chooses to work.  I am not responsible if He chooses not to move in a certain direction."!  I know this probably sounds crazy but for those people like me who have carried the weight of responsibilities on their shoulders their entire life,  it is easy to take "blame" for how things turn out.

My job is to believe.  Not to make it happen.  Just believe.  HE makes it happen.  HIS word makes it happen. And if I believe and it doesn't happen like everyone thinks it should, I am not responsible.   I have been holding back breakthrough in my life because I have put boundaries on my breakthroughs.  In Matthew 12 the people were asking Jesus to give them a sign.  They wanted miracles and Jesus said you ask for a sign but the only sign you will see will the the sign of Jonah being in the belly of the whale for 3 days.  He was talking about his death and resurrection.  They couldn't see the true miracle because they were basically telling Jesus how and what they wanted Him to move instead of believing in Him and letting Him reveal Himself.  They were trying to put boundaries on Jesus!  He was moving in a way no one expected.

Taking a deep breath,  Release. Lord I release my "responsibility" in how you want to move.  I recognize all I need to do is believe.  Please forgive me for putting limitations on you.  Please have your way completely.