I have missed talking to Hope and seeing her and Jeremiah! We had become very close. Who knows! God may have brought them into our lives for friendship and for us to pour into them the love that Father God has given us!
I don't know how to really put it into words. My heart yearns just to love. Love my family and friends. Love the lost. Love children. I know that God put the heart of a mommy in me. He put the heart of a daddy in Matt. I was listening to a teaching cd on trust. It really opened my eyes to how much I don't trust God with areas in my life.
I want to trust. Its not easy. I think that is why Jesus said we need to be like little children. You tell them something and they believe it with all they have. No analyzing. No second thought. Their sweet honesty and trusting hearts are precious. And Jesus tells us to come to Him as a little child.
Sometimes I wish I could just crawl up in Papa God's lap and just listen. To take in all that He has to say and just believe it with all that is in me. I have to retrain my thinking! The one thing about being an adult that stinks is that you analyze or think about the risks so much, its hard to believe God's word for your own personal situation. It seems easy to believe for others. But in the middle of chaos and heartbreak it's not as easy for me to believe for me.
I am filling my house with praise and worship just about 24/7. I am listening to teaching cd's because I want so much to be full of faith and worship. I know it stinks to walk through these difficult times, but I know it is in these moments that we draw closer to Him. And I believe that in our valleys we grow. In our brokenness, His healing makes us truly whole. The areas that we thought were fine, we discover were not as complete as we thought. Its in these moments that we learn the most, love the most and we can really see HIS heart. He is near those who have a broken heart. He never leaves us. He says to cast all our cares on Him because He cares for us. Jesus my good shepherd.
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